Thursday, March 31, 2011

Pardon Me for a Moment...

... while I become one of those mothers who shamelessly pushes pictures of her children into your hands while you're holding five papers bags of groceries in one arm and a toddler, diaper bag, and cell phone in the other.

Monday, March 21, 2011

It's Been Two Weeks Since My Last Post

Every day, from 7:30 to 5:30, I have four children in my house ages 3-and-a-half to 7 months. I really don't need to say more than that.

But before you begin feeling too sorry for me, please join me momentarily in a new thing that Christ is doing in me - whispered gratitudes, all day long.

#1: The joy on his face over a newly discovered game.

#2. The joy on mine over his cute rear in underpants. And the fact that I get to see it every day, instead of being at work missing him.

#3. This guy's smile. His giggles. His dimples. His giggles. His rolls. His giggles.

(And I finally have a baby that looks like me! Check out the chins in the above and below pics. No, there's no relation to Jay Leno.)

#4. Not only do I have four young kids every day, I GET four young kids every day. Their excitement about life is infectious, is it not?

#5. Before she "tries" to nap, she asks me to tell stories with her. Of course I've put all the others to bed first, because I anticipate this moment. We lay next to each other, snuggled together under her covers. I play with her hair and hold her close, and tell her silly stories of princesses and frogs and bunnies, of flying and becoming dragons and Mommies who really do know what's best (I have to squeeze that one in sometimes). A perfect moment in my day.

#6. Money is tight. Our house is quite small. And yet, this, too, is a gratitude I find arising from my heart. Those inconveniences are worth all of this. I am not missing out. I am filling their lives with God, their days with the lessons I choose. I am watching their eyes light up when they get it right for the first time. I am the one to hear when the baby first begins to babble. I am the one they run to when they are hurt and just need to be held.

So, Lord, our chaos is YOURS. And we praise you for that. And my blog, well, it may sit unvisited for weeks upon weeks. And you're teaching me to be ok with that. Because I'm living life with my children, one mess to the next, and one day at a time.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

They Fill My Heart

Often I see them, all four of them, and it's enough to make me cry out. "Really, God? They are mine? Why have you entrusted them to me?"

He gently reminds me. "Oh sweet daughter. I created you and I know you throughout. If you hadn't had them, you would not have fully grasped my love for you. Remember, child. You were filled with guilt, imprisoned. You thought you would never be good enough. Your grief was so deep it nearly killed you."

And just as He does it every time, He holds me tenderly in that place - that stillness - and gently whispers to my heart. I see; I remember where He brought me from. That land of shame. Striving to do all things right and never succeeding. Hiding my sins from the world, yet falling apart inside.

Oh thank you, Lord. For all the many joys these four bring me, this truly tops them all. I absolutely could never have known more about how you love me than through them.... how you forgive... how you show mercy after mercy... how you comfort... how you are infinitely patient... how you keep me safe... how you freed me from the burden of those horrid chains. Praise you, Lord, for knowing just what I would need.

"But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy." Titus 3:4

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Yep, I Missed Blogging About the Middle Child's Birthday

Coming from a mom who's a middle child, that's quite a blunder. Nevertheless, my Will turned TWO on Saturday!

I cannot even begin to tell you how Will fills my heart. He. is. hilarious. He is cuddly (when he wants to be). He is ornery in exactly the same way as his Daddy, where he tries to charm his way out of trouble (and often succeeds). He has frequently been known to acquire the attention of everyone in the room with his antics. He is all boy with this astounding amount of energy that I didn't even know existed in human form. And I LOVE HIM. Oh my goodness, I just love him.