Saturday, July 31, 2010

Picture Pages: Utah Edition

There's no need to point out how late I am with these pictures. Nevertheless, here are a few pics from our trip to Utah at the beginning of July.

Will and Grandpa Tyson:

Our family at 11,000 feet elevation (near Salt Lake City):

On a hike in Arches National Park in Moab, Utah (1.5 miles one way and I made it!):

The final destination on that particular hike - it's called Landscape Arch:

Sophie thought it sounded quite nice to catch a ride for the hike back:

Just a close-up of my sweet boy:

My parents at Dead Horse Point State Park, near Moab:

The whole fam at Dead Horse Point - that's the Colorado River approx 2,000 ft. below us:

Sophie had so much fun with her cousin, Elyssa. Elyssa is the daughter of Ben's sister, Jen, and is only 4 months younger than Sophie. Those two girls were fast friends and it was sad to leave Elyssa behind.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Have Mercy On Me

Today I've been thinking about this post I wrote on being a cracked pot. It's true, I am one. Lately I've been finding it easier to wallow in self-pity than to ask Him to be my strength. I've spent many evenings crying. I've had too, too many days of short fuses where my precious three-year-old, with baby blues so big and round, stares up at me trying to figure out how she can please me. Oh Lord, I wonder in those moments, when I feel that the confusion and sorrow in her eyes will haunt me for the rest of my life... Oh Lord, how did I come to this? Please, let this not be me. Let her not remember me this way.

Is it pregnancy fatigue/hormones? Perhaps. Is it a recurrence of old depressions, old insecurities, pushing back at a weak moment in my life? Could be. Or are those just excuses straight from Satan himself... he is watching, after all. He knows when I am weak. He is a strategist and knows just the right time to attack.

So, the question is: do I let him win? I could allow him to play back that old tape in my mind... the one that is on "repeat" and reminds me of my failures - remember how hurt your beloved children were?... remember how harsh you've been to your mother... remember how you made your husband feel he was at fault... remember how dishonest you've been, acting as if everything's okay when inside you're crumbling... remember... remember... remember.

I could let him play that tape again. Or perhaps today it's time to believe. My precious Jesus - He chose to die so that I might never remember these things again. My heart should be free from a guilty conscience because I believe Him - He promised to cleanse me and so He does!

So this week, I have chosen to record over that old tape. When Satan hits play, this is what he'll hear: I am tired of you telling me I'm not a good Mommy. They are my treasures! He loves them so much more than I do, yet He still entrusted them to me. He believes in me! I will not disappoint him. I will speak gently. I will make more time for what they desire. I will exhibit love to them. Yes, I will mess up. And I will not feel guilty! I will simply start again, taking back the day.

Truly, I deserve punishment for how I've acted. Yet Christ is full of mercy to me in my time of need. Oh praise you, Jesus!

*Some of these concepts were adapted from a study written by Beth Moore entitled "When Godly People Do Ungodly Things"

Saturday, July 17, 2010

New Family Pictures

While we were in Utah my sis-in-law, Jen, took some family pictures for us. She is an aspiring photographer and is quite good at what she's learning to do.

Jen asked me to bring a special book for the pictures; one that I read with my kids that would send a special message to the soon-to-come baby:

Too bad Sophie's face is silly in this picture; it is a sweet pose and would otherwise be a great picture:

My precious kiddos... love those blue eyes!!:

Not quite sure what I think of the more serious face (but I do like how this picture somewhat dimishes the size of the belly):

Beware - kissy picture:

The fam:


Thanks for the awesome pictures, Jen - we love you!!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Back In Oz

We made it. 9 days away from home. Driving 16 hours one-way with a 1-yr-old, a 3-yr-old, one very pregnant Mommy, one amazingly patient Daddy, and two ever-helpful grandparents all in one Toyota Sienna (a.k.a. the Swagger Wagon).

We had a fabulous time, but this picture of Will on our drive home today sums up our current feelings quite well.

I'll check back in when I recover, which just may not be until after the new baby arrives. Yes, that's still another 6 weeks away...

Friday, July 2, 2010