Sunday, October 16, 2011

I Realize Super-Mom Never Cries. And I Don’t Care.

It’s true. These three sweet ones, they hold my very heart in their sticky little hands. Funny how that happens. One day you’re walking around this world with not much of a care in the world, and then you have a baby three babies. You look at them and you can hardly even breathe for how much you love them.

IMG_1974 edit resize

They are the reason I was in my van after church this evening, sobbing my eyes out as my husband patiently waited for me to gain control so he could go back in the building to his meeting. Poor guy.

In another month our church is sending the hubs and I thousands of miles away to Buenos Aires, Argentina. For 9-ish days, they will be here, and we will be there.

US to Argentina

As I blubbered like a maniac tonight I told Ben that I knew I wasn’t calling on the power of God to help me overcome my fears. So that begs the question, “WHY NOT?!” Fair question. While driving home I talked with God and He asked me the same thing. I’m sure He wanted to say, “Stop being such a baby and remember that I love them more than you.” But He didn’t. He just let me talk; He listened to my fears and worries and sorrows until I talked myself right back into His truths. He is just so good at doing that, my God.

He brought me back to solid ground. Peace flooded that wild heart of mine that wants so badly to stray, thinking it can take control. I’d like to say this won’t happen 50 more times again before we leave, but I can’t promise anything. I’m a mom, and even this insanely emotional heart of mine is straight from the Lord. But when it does happen, in His complete patience, He will remind me yet again that He loves them more. And He is in control. Because He does, and He is.

”Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL YOUR WAYS acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6


Grandma Eroh said...

I know they will miss you, sweet daughter. Try to enjoy yourself and know that God, Grandad, and I will take good care of them.

Anonymous said...

Move over, Kelly and pass the Kleenex box. The first time Jen spent the night with her grandparents (across town), I went into her empty room, sat on the floor in the middle of the room and sobbed, inconsolably.
Grandma Tyson

Katie said...

It is so hard to be away from your babies. But I know you are one of the best at relying on God to help you!!

Amy in Edmond said...

Enjoy your trip. It's good to be away from your kids a little bit.

I can understand not talking to God about this.

I have failed to ask Him take away fear I am feeling and keep me safe at work. I have a grandparent that threatened to meet me in the parking lot after school and cut me, because she thinks I have called DHS on her family repeatedly. I haven't called DHS at all.

Anonymous said...

Just read this post. And, though it is way past my bed time, I wanted to comment and say again just how excited I am that you and Ben are going! While it is true that Jonathan, Daniel, Megan and the Caballito Church will be blessed by your going, Northside will be equally blessed by your return and all of the wonderful stories and experiences you will be able to share! Thank you for letting our Lord work through you!