Tuesday, November 16, 2010

He Must Become Greater

Hi friend. I've been thinking, and here's the deal. Sometimes I'm just not REAL with people. Why? Because I'm FULL. OF. PRIDE. You must be warned that you may decide you can't be my friend after reading what follows. Nevertheless, here are some things you should know about me.

1. Today I spent a little time on Facebook while my 20-mth-old son wandered around the house looking for something to do (and I'm sure he was wishing I would play with him).

2. That is not a first.

3. Sometimes when I'm emotional I "binge eat."

4. I haven't bathed/showered since Saturday evening. It's Tuesday afternoon. Yuck.

5. I often am frustrated when the kids are napping and it's time for me to do my Bible study. Sometimes I'd rather just nap with them.

6. I don't want to ever yell at my kids. But sometimes I do.

7. I've had clean laundry sitting unfolded in a basket on my couch since yesterday afternoon. That is actually a very short time compared to past instances.

8. I also have dishes in the sink, lunch still sitting on the table, and clothes/toys/books strewn all over the house. If you were to just drop by I would debate letting you in. I'm being serious.

9. I am skeptical about those around me and often find myself judging their motives, as if I could possibly know what they're thinking. As if I could know their hearts.

There you have it. I truly am ashamed to write these things. And I hate to tell you this, but there are many other evils lurking inside. In my desperate attempts to allow God to rid me of my pride, and give me a gentle nature, He asked me to move these things from my heart to my blog.

And He showed me this:

We may believe different things. I do, however, desire their humility. Face to the ground in worship, in awe, of the Creator. Let me be so humbled, Lord. Whatever it takes. I am before you, and I praise you for reminding me of John's own humble cry, "He must become greater; I must become less." (John 3:30)


Ryan Corcoran said...

Except for the 20 mth old part, I'm with you about 100%. There is nothing in that list that makes you a bad person, a bad mother, or a bad Christian. It just says you're human, like the rest of us. "For all have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God." Honestly, if that list is your top ten hit list, I'd say you're in better shape than most of us. :-) In fact, because of the fact that you're willing to confess your sins before men (and women :-) in such a public manner, I'd definitely say you're better off than most of us.

Michelle Tajchman said...

I'll let you in to my house, if you let me in to yours ;)

Great post Kelly, and in recollecting your list I think I ditto just about everything - so you're not alone! I do confess that you even attempting a bible study during naptime amazes me. Your heart is definitely in the right place, or at least trying to be girl! Hang in there :)

Andrea Kay said...

I am so thankful for you. I am so thankful that I am blessed to do this study with you. I hope you know, you bless my life.

John and Megan said...

I relate. Not much more to say. I too need humility. Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

1, 2, 6, 7, and 8 are true of me as well, and the only reason 5 isn't is because my children haven't yet developed the skill of simultaneous napping. Thanks for sharing, it makes me feel much better about my less-than-perfect life.

Grandma Eroh said...

Sweet, Kelly, welcome to motherhood. You truly have a heart for God, and he gave you a talent for writing. I am surprised that Will was not wanting on your lap, though.
Love, mom

kauffeegrl said...

Thanks for your transparency Kelly. As a mom to an (almost) 20mth old and one on the way (soon!) I can absolutely understand how discouraging it can be at times to keep up with life. I am guilty myself especially these last few weeks of using the tv for a baby sitter, something I intend to change in the very near future! We are all human, but the main thing to just never give up. Praying for you!!

Jessica said...

Me too - enough said!

Katrina said...

I was going to write something similar today... but yours is MUCH better written! So I will pass and just just, DITTO. Your blog always inspires me and makes me feel at ease in my life. Thank you for blogging!

Katie said...

Way to be real, Kel. It's very hard for me to do that.

Rachel said...

Kelly, thanks for your honesty. It's refreshing for sure. And I can totally relate. Motherhood is not immune to Satan's scheme's. Thankfully we have God to give us strength. Your post is reminding me to do things for the glory of God. Even the "unseen" things or the things only our children or husband see. God sees them all.

Donna said...

Thanks for being my friend! I am with you on all of these. God bless you for sharing.