The Big One

As usual I'm right on cue to give one of my kids a big Happy Birthday shout out. Seth turned one 8 days ago. It is very surreal that he is my last, yet he is already moving away from babyhood.

I saw this picture of Seth and immediately thought of the picture of Will, below, at his first birthday. Exact same expression. Priceless.

THIS is True Love

A busy weekend led to a house in shambles as the day began. I rose early, and went for a run, choosing to listen to my music instead of talking with my God. After two days of not much "me time," I decided to run slightly longer than normal, and returned to the house with only minutes to shower before Ben would leave for the day. Moving from shower directly to feeding children left me no time for a morning devotional. Moment to moment I found my desire to tidy the house growing more intense, along with a proportionately increasing desire for attention from the dear ones playing nearby. As I put them off time and again, my impatience grew... until my words became harsh and unkind.

God is so very good to give me days like this lest I begin to forget just how much I need Him. And then His Spirit whispered to me and I stopped to realize how I was acting. Well, let me be honest. In truth, His spirit shouted at me, through the voice of my 4-year-old, who amidst her tears looked up at me and said, “That made my heart hurt.” And there was my heart, in a thousand pieces, on the floor. I fell to my knees and gathered her into my lap, holding that sweet child. As I told her how I loved her, and begged for her forgiveness, a smile broke through to her face. Without hesitation she replied, "It's ok, Mommy." And for her, it was over.

Then He led me here: "'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you.'" (Isaiah 54:10)

Oh how desperately I need our Lord God. Yet how amazed, speechless, awe-struck, humbled, completely and utterly thankful I am over his amazing love for me. That my actions today, from a woman who KNOWS better, who chooses to live my life free and in such joy, can act like I did this morning. Praise you, Lord Jesus, that I cannot make your love be removed from me!! Oh praise you!

Better Than Ever

Remember this? My pathetic, whiney, good-for-nothing sorrow over the loss of Peter Furler from the Newsboys? Well, my friends, he's back with a new solo album. And this is exactly why I adore him so much.

Who else, besides Toby Mac, can get one mom, one dad, and four kids to dance around the house until they're breathless with laughter, all while praising God?! Oh yes, lest you think I'm joking, Ben and I dance with just as much zeal as the kiddos. And if you look closely, you may catch me with a few tears of overwhelming joy. My God is just too, too much.

A Time to Embrace

The last of my babies is going to turn one in a little over 2 weeks.

If you know me well, you know I am not a "baby" person. I enjoy watching my kids grow to a more playful age. But that came to a screeching halt when I met this sweet thang:

This is Miss Josie Baker, my precious new niece, who we came so close to losing. As her life hung in the balance, God whipped my prayer life into a new state of intensity. I had one of those "I didn't realize I needed to work on this part of my life" moments as I prayed like I never had before.

And He worked a miracle in her life. He didn't just save her. He moved her out of that NICU faster than expected and home to her waiting family (and providentially, she went home on the same day as our other new niece, Ava! He is perfect!) Each new peek that modern medicine takes at Josie's brain shows more improvements, more reasons to praise God!

So the last 6 weeks of Josie's life have had me thinking: the Word of God tells me that there is a time to embrace. And embrace we shall!

Today when they ask for a PEZ before dinner... the answer is yes.


While many parents sit on the sidelines and observe, we will join in!


When they want to run around sans clothes after their bath, screaming and jumping on the beds, we will grab the camera. :)


When my sweet girl wants to wear her tutu to the mall, this mom who once swore her daughter would not wear costumes or characters in public will grin widely and comply:


And that prayer life? God has taught me to ask with boldness and watch him work. As I sat feeling forlorn that my baby, soon to be toddler, would not cuddle with me even for a moment, my Father spoke to my heart. Have you shared your desires with me, child? So I did. And little by little, wouldn't you know that this sweet boy now lays his head on his mommy and rests for a few moments before drifting off to dreamland? You better believe it. Because my God, He just loves me that much.